I have been thinking the past few days, after calming down of course, about some topics that were discussed at the Birth Mom Buds Retreat here in Charlotte. Over the weekend we do fun games and activities and we attend workshops on different topics. This year I chose to attend the "Closed Adoption" workshop to see what it was like to deal with adoption from that perspective. While I don't "technically" have a closed adoption, I do feel the communication is in a rough spot and I was hoping to learn some techniques to either cope with it or techniques that help make it better. One thing that kept getting repeated from everyone in room: always be available and reachable.
1) Keep your contact information up to date. Let the adoptive family know (if you can) when you move or change your number.
2) If you personally can't give the family your information. Sign up online on registries such as National Adoption Registry www.nationaladoptionregistry.com or if you are a birthparent you can join CUB: Concerned United Birthparents http://www.cubirthparents.org/
3) If you have the ability to send anything make sure you keep any records you have of when you sent letters/photos/packages to your child. Sometimes, little contact is better than no contact.
4) Remember it's okay to feel what you feel. Be angry, be sad, and if you feel happy that's okay too! Just remember that there are others who feel the same way and all you have to do is reach out. I have noticed that the more involved I am in the adoption community the more I have friends around me. Some are even a mile down the road!
Until next time,
Rose
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