New Year.. Less visits?

So this year is completely new for me. Lots of changes are happening and I'm not quite sure where to go with them. I found out in January from the AP's that they are being re-stationed to a new base in Hawaii. This is heartbreaking for me. I got comfortable with how contact was going.  Since placement, I have gotten to see him twice a year and pictures via Facebook or Snapfish. One visit around his birthday and once around Christmas. Now that they are moving I am unsure if they will be coming mainland at anytime during the 3 year station.

Every once in a while I will get a phone call from her or a Facebook message stating new information, like when she is coming to town or if C is into anything new. We have only once been on Skype together and that was only because I "happened" to be at her dad's house (which is my Uncle) for Christmas. I was looking forward to the future getting better instead I feel like its taken a step backwards. She (Amom) has never been particularly nice to me except when I was pregnant but since I am an optimistic person I hoped for things to become even closer than before. Amom and I have had our fair share of "ups and downs" but for the most part she has remained good on what she has promised. Now aside from telling me about the re-location, she hasn't told me how contact will change.

Now realistically, I know that they probably won't be coming twice a year like the past 3 years but the fact remains that she has refused to discuss it with me. Even on the last visit when I asked about C and how he was doing she vaguely answered the questions. I got more information out of her husband than I did asking her and he just came back from Iraq!

I just feel hurt and left out on simple things. She has flat out said (on several occasions) that she only talks to 3 people in her life: Husband, Father, Best Friend. If you're not one of those three then you are lucky to get information about general life. I am nothing to her. She doesn't want me involved (or so she says) because it makes her other adopted child feel left out.

Now, whenever I have been around the children I have always included both. At Christmas time, I get presents for the whole family Amom(cousin), Adad, daughter, and C. I never wanted anyone to feel that way. But she has made it that way by (what I feel) purposely trying to exclude me.

On top of all this swirling in my head, R calls me today lets me know two pieces of information. 1) He has made it to a year sober and 2) He was in jail. (HA!)
Yes, in jail. That doesn't surprise me though. Throughout the 4 years that we "dated" (if you could even call it that) he was in and out of the house(s) that we rented and never could keep a job. Always blamed me for something. Blame, shame and manipulation. We used those on each other toward the end. Things between us ended very rough to say the least.